The Betrayal Rewritten
by avatarjk137
Summary: A rewrite of my first fanfiction, The Betrayal. Tak secures an Irken ally in her quest to take Zim's mission, but can Tak trust him? Can he trust Tak? Single OC. Rated T for mild language and violence. Updated Mondays.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I do not own _Invader Zim,_ Jhonen Vasquez and Nickelodeon do. I only own Kloof and the contents of this story.**

**The Betrayal**

**Prologue**

**Agents of Vengeance**

Tak sighed as she set the escape pod down inside the bubble that kept in the artificial atmosphere. Weeks of drifting, only to come across some seedy bar on the outskirts of Irken airspace. Thank Ham she had at least been able to steer her drifting towards Irken territory. And thank Ham she at least had enough Moneys to her name to drown her sorrow in soda. In the morning she would feel better, and then she would start to turn her life around. Get Mimi fixed, work off a loan on a new ship, and go after Zim again. No mistakes this time.

The rusted steel door slid open for her, revealing a bar decorated sparely in the usual dark magentas of an official Irken establishment. The bartender was a shortish Irken with mismatched red and purple eyes. The plasma burn scar around the red one made it obvious which one was a cheap transplant when the original had been destroyed. There weren't many patrons; a few Irkens and Vortians, one of those taller, thin four-armed aliens, and a Cthuluesque tentacled horror that was crying into his green tea.

"I'll _have_ a cherry cola," she muttered, taking the only seat with empty spots on both sides of her.

"Out of cherry cola," the mismatched-eyes bartender croaked hoarsely.

"Do you have anything in the lemon-limey family of sodas, then?"

He nodded and drew her up a glass of something that may as well have been Sprite. She downed the first half in one go, then began taking more dainty, gradual sips. She felt better already.

An Irken in red full-body armor strode through the door, clanked somewhat noisily across the room, and sat down next to Tak. "Give me something fizzy in a color not found in _any_ nature," he said. The bartender chuckled and poured him a soda in a very unsettling shade of cough-syrup red, which the armored Irken took and immediately began taking gulps of. He turned to Tak. "Haven't seen you here before," he said.

_Is he… HITTING on me?_ Tak barely gave the notion any credibility. _That's absurd. Soldiers of the Irken empire don't engage in trivialities like __**romance. **_And he was clearly a soldier, now that Tak got a good look at him (the Irken symbol on his left shoulder was a pretty good indicator). A little taller than her, but a lot wider, shiny red armor encased his whole body except for the lower half of his face, which was crisscrossed with small scars. A green visor covered his eyes, making them unreadable, but his mouth was pulled back in a kind of frown. The suit encased his antennae in a pair of immobile curving horns that looked more Vortian than Irken, and he seemed not to have a PAK; instead, a pair of largish swords were crossed over his back. His gauntleted hands were unusually large for an Irken's, in addition to having an extra finger apiece; Tak guessed that it was probably some new kind of power armor.

Tak sighed; she didn't want to interact with anybody right now, but she did need a proper ride. He was interested in her; he probably just wanted to entertain himself by hearing her story, but that was still an advantage for her. "I'm just drifting through," she said numbly. _Damn. Need to be more social than that. _"Hey, listen, I came here in an _escape pod._ Do you think I could bum a ride off you?" _Maybe I should just mind-control him._

"Well, that depends. _I_ wanna hear how you wound up in an escape pod. I don't even know your name yet. I'm Kloof, by the way." He offered an oversized hand, which Tak shook. It was cold enough to feel it through her gloves, although she could feel the buzz of machinery in it.

_"_Tak," she replied curtly. _You know what? Let's just go with mind control and roll with that._ "A ride would be _really_ helpful," she said insistently, a blue spark dancing across her eyes.

"That's a nice trick, Tak," Kloof said with a chuckle. "I've gotta hand it to you: most people who even know about those mind control implants are too afraid to get them, what with the high mortality rate of the surgery." Tak coughed on her drink; so much for that theory. "I'm a little insulted that you think I look dumb enough for it to work on me, though."

"Force of habit," she lied, smiling guiltily. Not real guilt, but it looked real enough. "Well, the escape pod is a long story actually."

"I've got all night," Kloof said with a shrug, "and I'm under the impression you aren't going anywhere soon."

---

Tak had told him just about everything. A lifetime of being the secret-keeping type had been demolished. Once she had started, it just felt so _good_ to get things off her PAK that she couldn't stop. Kloof had been a fairly good listener; it was hard to tell if he was looking away, but he nodded and said affirmative things like "You're kidding," at the proper times, and he had ordered her a refill twenty minutes into the story, beginning with Zim wrecking her career just before it began and ending with spending weeks adrift with only a broken SIR Unit to keep her company.

"So…" Kloof said thoughtfully. "Revenge is still what you're after?"

"Abso_lutely_," Tak agreed. "But first, a ride to somewhere where I can take out a loan for a new ship, or find the parts to build one myself." She noticed Kloof was doubled over, shaking, with his hand over his mouth. "What's wrong with you?" Nothing, but she recognized the motion. "Are you… _laughing?_ At ME?!"

It took Kloof a second to gain control of himself. "NO… it's… heh hehhh… it's just funny. Hang on…" his laughter suddenly contained itself, and he was as serious as an accountant whose child had just died. It was a little disconcerting, except to Tak, who was used to snapping from laughter to scowling. "I want to come with you and help you get revenge," he said soberly.

Tak was instantly suspicious. "Why?"

"Because…" Kloof traced a finger down the center of his chest, and a hidden seam in his armor revealed itself. "As badly as Zim _ruined_ your life…" he pulled on either side of his chest plate, and they swung open. Inside was a hollow cavity containing a few spare Irken organs in a plastic case, hooked up to what was clearly an advanced life support device. In front of that was a small, glowing generator hooked to the circuitry that ran across the inside of his armor. Tak stared in awe at the humming machinery. "I'm sure he's done a little worse to me."

"Zim… did that?" she asked. "How did that _idiot _manage that?"

"I _didn't _actually know whose fault it was until you just told me," Kloof admitted. "I was on Devastis at the same time you were - couldn't have been more than a few hours ahead of your class. I had just finished my final exam, with flying colors… I was going to be assigned to be an Invader, or something high-level." He clenched his fists. "The _power_ went out while I was in the teleporter off-planet. Only fifteen percent of my body was ever recovered."

It took a moment for Tak to observe all of this. "I wondered why they stopped using teleporters."

"There have been a _few _more incidents like mine, but I'm the only one who survived the experience. Most of my _head_ and the organs in my chest survived, although I lost my eyes, antennae, part of my brain, and most of my squeedlyspooch. It took you fifty years to find… ZIM, right?" She nodded. "After the teleporter accident, they grabbed what they could of me and put me on cold-storage. Effectively, I was wait-listed for one of the Empire's ongoing cyborg programs to resurrect exceptional soldiers that happen to get mauled. It took **forty years **for them to get a team of Vortian and Irken scientists to build me a new body." He swallowed involuntarily. "If I hadn't scored so high on my exams, hadn't made myself look _valuable_ to the Irken Empire, I wouldn't have come back at all."

_That answers why they'd bother to do this in such a large empire,_ Tak thought. "So, what are you going to do about your position in the Empire?" She asked. "I'm a janitorial drone, so nobody misses me, but… actually, what _do _you do?"

"I was recruited for Irken Black Ops, since I can't easily conceal myself as an Invader and don't have a proper PAK anymore. You'd think it would be _exciting_, but the Empire is dominating right now, so we don't have _anything _to do but sniff around for the Resisty. Basically, I'm doing my job, since I'll be looking around some **crapsack** sector in the middle of _nowhere_."

"Alright then. When should we leave?" Tak asked.

"Well, I want to do some recon first, and we _do _need to come up with a plan, so I'd say… IMMEDIATELY."

"Can I finish my drink first?"

"Okay."

**End of Chapter**


	2. Business as Unusual

**Howdy! If you're here, I guess you read the prologue. Welcome... or welcome back... to the Betrayal! You may have read the first one, and you may then be thinking, "Didn't _Yellowfur_ write that?" The answer is a resounding KINDA. I storyboarded, and wrote chapter 4, and proofread, but my sister Yellowfur wrote the other four chapters, and proofread chapter 4. Which is saying a lot. Besides, I didn't have my own account at the time. So, now the story is entirely written by me and proofread by Yellowfur, and it thus goes in my account. Enjoy.**

**Oh, and if you're wondering about the strange word emphasis, I write the Irkens' dialogue in the way that most of them talk. Zim really does place all sorts of weird emphasis on words (thanks to Richard Horvitz), and Tak and Tallest Purple do it almost as much. Therefore, I write many Irkens, including Kloof, as talking this way.  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own _Invader Zim_, Jhonen Vasquez and Nickelodeon do. I only own Kloof and the contents of this story.  
**

**Chapter 1**

**Business as Unusual**

"Gir, you are trying my patience. Gir… no Gir. GIR… GIR! You are trying my patience, Gir, and you are failing it! You hear me, Gir? You are _failing_ my only _patience!_ My patience is a failure… _because of you!_"

This wasn't by any means an uncommon situation in a certain little angular green house. Of course, this little angular green house was quite uncommon in and of itself. For one thing, it was sentient. For another, it was the residence of an Irken, an uncommon race in this leg of the galaxy. For another, this particular Irken was about as uncommon a specimen as they came. He was uncommonly short, and had an uncommon record - he was responsible for three worldwide power outages (two on his homeworld), two accidental assassinations of his race's leaders, and a general wide swathe of fiery destruction by humongous mecha (also on his homeworld). Total score: Zim 6; rest of the Irkens 0. An uncommon score indeed.

No doubt, you're all familiar with Zim, the little green alien, megalomaniac, idiot, and purported 'nuclear mole' who lives in this house. However, the events that transpired from this point involved Zim in a series of fantastic adventures that brought an intergalactic empire to its knees. You may not be familiar with those, so that's what this story will focus on.

Zim cringed at the volume of Gir's shrieks and whines; desperately trying to make it out the front door to get to Skool. Normally Zim would just shrug it off, but this was different (oh, how different it was). Gir, sans dog costume, had attached himself to Zim's right leg, because Zim would not pick the poppy seeds off Gir's bagel. They never used to bother Gir, but today, for some reason, he was scared to death of them.

"But they're STARING AT ME!" Gir shrieked, in a tone of voice with side effects that included ruptured eardrums, migraines, temporary insanity, and instant death.

"For the last time, they won't feast on your innards! Now get off!" With that, Zim kicked Gir off his leg and slammed the door shut before Gir could get out.

Muffled screams of "No! Help meeeee!" could be heard through the door, along with an unholy skittering sound.

Shaking his head, Zim walked towards Skool.

---

"So, what's the plan again?" Tak asked Kloof as she and Mimi activated her holographic disguises. She knew, of course; she was making sure _he _did_._ They hadn't bothered to set up a base; Tak was certain that humans were so oblivious, they could just park Kloof's modest ship in a stand of trees near the Skool without raising any attention

"We infiltrate the Skool under human disguise. You've got the same one you used last time, to intentionally raise the alarm of Zim and this… this _Dib_ kid. We wait until they, along with Dib's sister, are all gathered in one place before _striking_. We kill whomever we have to, but keep the rest alive to watch as we do… something to their planet."

"I'm going to fill it with snacks and present it to the _Tallest!_" Tak growled. "You need to know this!"

Kloof scratched his hornlike antennae. "No, I DON'T. I'm not necessary for that part except to make sure the Empire doesn't know what we're doing and prevent the escape of our captives. Wait… wouldn't the snacks _melt_ in the core of a K-class planet?"

"I'll refrigerate the inside," Tak explained patiently. "I have that technology."

"Right," Kloof activated his own holograph disguise; while the model Tak used was designed to be plugged into a PAK or SIR Unit systems core; Kloof had a similar enough port in his right arm that it wasn't an issue. He flickered and was replaced by the image of a large child taller than Tak, with a build more like Torque Smacky's and baggy red clothes to mimic his normal width. Nevertheless, he'd probably be able to pass as a child Tak's age. "How do I look?"

Tak frowned. "Hm… you don't blink. Your disguise won't either."

"Good point." Kloof fiddled with a panel in his arm, and gained a hood over his head that cast his eyes in shadow. "Better?"

"Better." Tak snapped her fingers, and Mimi slithered across the room to her side. "I'm going to go get some _meat_ to fling at Zim; meet me in front of the Skool at 0850."

"Okay. I'm going to keep fiddling with the disguise until then; maybe I can get it to blink at regular intervals." Tak nodded and left. Kloof waited for a moment, tapping his foot, before sitting in the control chair and hailing a frequency. "We're on location, boss. She doesn't suspect a thing."

---

Zim had no idea what was going on. He searched his head for ideas, but nothing came up. Yet there was Tak, in all her (disguised) glory, sitting in her former seat. There was a new student in the seat next to her as well, but Zim didn't realize it yet and probably wouldn't have cared if he did. Tak was sitting staring straight ahead with an innocent smile on her face, showing that there was nothing to stare at, or in Dib's case, point and make a nightmarish sort of retching noise at. Zim decided to ponder this no more and walked across the classroom to confront Tak. As soon as he reached her desk and opened his large green mouth, though, Ms. Bitters' voice rattled its way out of her withered, centuries-old larynx.

"Sit down, Zim! Class, you may have noticed that Tak is back. Big deal. There is also a new student joining us…"

"His name is Kloof." Tak said quickly, using the more childish voice she kept when she was 'in-character'.

"Whatever."

"Hello, Kloof," the class dully mumbled in unison.

Zim decided to wait until lunch to talk to Tak and Kloof. He slouched in his seat and pretended to pay attention to the teacher and her the-end-is-nigh ramblings until the lunch bell (she was tired of the-end-is-_near_). He couldn't even concentrate on his latest plan to throw Gir into power plants.

---

When lunch came, Zim walked straight towards where Tak and the new boy were sitting silently eating their snacks. Dib saw Zim going in Tak's direction and got up to follow him. Any natural hostility between the two could be put aside for a moment, when a threat like Tak came along to upset the balance of power. Gaz's left arm twitched in annoyance as she watched them make their way across the cafeteria, towards her. There was going to be irritating yelling, right near her.

"I noticed Zim yelling about how normal he was in class this morning," Kloof said, making small talk as he chewed his pretzels.

"Yes," Tak agreed. "Zim subscribes to the theory that if you say something **loud** enough and _often_ enough, everybody will believe you."

"That's actually proven to _work_ most of the time, you know."

"Yeah, but I think he just does it instinctually. Speaking of…"

"TAK!" Zim shouted with unnecessary volume. "And just WHAT are you doing back here on MY _PLANET!_"

"It's not your planet," Dib added helpfully.

"Quiet!" With this latest interjection, Zim jumped up on the table. "I DEMAND you tell me what you're _doing_ here! Or maybe you just came back to be defeated yet again?"

Tak's calm face twitched into an angry scowl. "That was cheating! I _know_ you corrupted Mimi! It took me a month just to get her to stop singing and dancing!"

"We did it to stop you from draining the earth!" Dib yelled.

"Who asked you, anyway!" Tak and Zim yelled in unison.

As this went on, Kloof just watched with growing interest. Tak yelled at Dib, Zim yelled at Tak, Tak yelled at Zim, Dib yelled at Zim _and _Tak… Dib had a special brand of extra-annoying yelling (Dibbing, if you will). Suddenly, Kloof cut into the argument by yelling very loudly, "YEAH I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS." He got up and leaned his face in close to Dib's ear with a grin. "I'm gonna pretend to _punch_ you. Try and make it look real."

"Wait, what?" Dib asked in alarm, but it was too late. Kloof had pulled back his arm and slammed a large fist into Dib's cheek hard enough to launch him clear across the cafeteria, causing him to impact against the far wall with a hollow _thump._

"_HEY!"_ Poonchie called, getting the cafeteria's collective attention. "The new kid shut Dib up… BY PUNCHING HIM REALLY HARD!"

"YAYYYY!" The students began clapping, cheering, and even throwing roses at Kloof's feet. Tak began to snicker, and Zim quickly made himself scarce. Kloof simply looked at his knuckles in mild surprise.

**End of Chapter**

**Ooh, Kloof's got a mean punch! Also, he's working for... somebody! FORESHADOWING! Join us next chapter to find out who Kloof's really working for!  
**


	3. I, Traitor

**Well, here's the 'big reveal' chapter. I think I've really improved this scene from the original form - two years later, my writing style's a bit more evolved. Don't hesitate to tell me what you think.**

**I do not own _Invader Zim,_ Jhonen Vasquez does. I only own Kloof and the contents of this story.**

**The Betrayal**

**Rewrite Chapter 2**

**I, Traitor**

"So, why exactly are we analyzing DNA?" Dib asked.

"I told you, scum-Dib, I need to know what we're _up_ against," Zim snarled in reply. The two, along with Gaz and Gir, stood in front of the computer in the depths of Zim's lab, and none but Gir were happy. Dib wasn't happy because he was jealous of Zim's superior alien technology; Zim was irritated that the two human siblings had gained access to his base yet again. Gaz… Gaz wasn't really ever happy. "_Most_ Irkens don't have strength quite like that, and _none_ are waterproof."

"Also, he has the normal human amount of fingers." Everybody stared at Dib. "What? Tak only had two fingers and a thumb in her disguise, and I'm not going to miss something like THAT again! I've been counting the fingers of everybody I met!"

"He really hit you hard, Dib," Gaz muttered. "Not bad, but he put too much force into the first hit. If you go _flying,_ there's no time for a second attack." Gaz had been entertaining herself with her latest game, Pig Cannon XI. When she offered something to the conversation, it wasn't helpful.

"Wait… when did you get his DNA anyway?" Dib rubbed his right eye, which was swollen shut. "You never touched him."

"You're AWFULly observant for a wormling that was _unconscious_ for five minutes," Zim snapped. "But if you need to know, there were some unearthly skin cells on your face while you were OUT."

"You went over and took a good look at me after he hit me?" Dib grinned. "I didn't know you cared, Zim."

"I DON'T," he snapped loudly. "But I needed to check the _damage_ to give me a good idea of how much danger _I _was in. AHA!" Zim suddenly shouted, thrusting his fist into the air and nearly socking Dib's already bruised and battered face in the process. "This Kloof thing-boy actually _is _Irken!"

"So what's up with him, then?"

Zim opened his mouth to respond, but there was a crackling sound in the middle of the room, and suddenly Tak, Kloof and Mimi materialized in a bright flash of electricity that caused the lights to flicker ominously. They weren't wearing their disguises, allowing a full view of Tak's ominous purple eyes, Mimi's wicked smashing claw, and Kloof's polished maroon body armor and the numerous scars on his visible skin. Gir, still smiling, went into a long continuous scream. It continued for several seconds, until Tak nodded to Mimi, and Mimi fired a sort of suction dart that stuck to Gir's forehead and promptly short-circuited him.

"Zim!" Kloof yelled, drawing his two swords (which were both about the same size as said Invader). Zim hesitantly turned his head towards Kloof to see what he had to say, blinking stupidly at them. "You may be _wondering_ about my robotic appearance, or the fact that water doesn't affect me."

"Huh? ...I mean, yes. **YES I AM!**"

"Well see, the same idiocy of yours that trapped Tak in the control room that fateful day butchered me! I had just passed the invader exam - at the top of my class, if I do say so myself - and was in a teleporter at the time." Kloof paused, apparently to regain his self-control, as his hands were rattling against his swords' hilts. "So you may be wondering why I'm here…"

"To get revenge on me and take my mission?" Zim said, remembering Kloof was working for Tak. Let's give Zim a cookie for the guess.

"No, no…to thank you." Kloof said calmly.

"That's right! He…" Somewhere in Tak's brain, gears stripped themselves as she feverishly tried to shift into full mental reverse, and her cruel, triumphant smile flaked off her face and fell to the floor as her eyes widened. "To… thank… you. TO THANK YOU?!" She turned to Kloof questioningly.

Suddenly, one of Kloof's swords was held to the very surprised neck of a very surprised Tak. The other sword was safely sheathed… inside Mimi, followed by a quick slicing-and-dicing motion that quickly tore the small robot apart. This was unexpected enough that even Gaz cracked an eye mostly open.

"That was fun," Kloof sighed, but then he was all business again. "Funny thing about getting parts of your brain replaced with robotics – you gain a _delightful_ new perspective. I can see EVERYTHING more clearly now. I can see the future of the Empire… and it's **not** good. _Every_ empire in universal history collapses eventually."

"YOU LIE!" Zim interjected.

"No… no, he's right," Dib mumbled in agreement.

"When I woke up," Kloof continued, almost oblivious to Zim and Dib's comments, "I realized that the path the Irken Empire is on is a path to sure destruction… and I made it my personal goal to stop our imperialistic expansion. By ANY means necessary. Although I officially joined the Black Ops, I also swore allegiance to the enslaved Vortian scientists who rebuilt me… and through them, the Resisty."

"_You_…" Tak was shaking. Her words were so filled with hate, they oozed from her mouth like black, pestilence-filled slugs. "You're working for the RESISTY!" she suddenly shrieked. "You're a _traitor to the EMPIRE!" _She collapsed to the ground, looking as though she might vomit. "And I've been… working with _you…_ helping _you…_"

Kloof only chuckled. "Poor, narrow-minded little Tak. We're _really _the same, you know… we only want to accomplish what's best for Irkens everywhere. I've met Lard Nar, in person. He's a good Vortian. He wants to overthrow the Irkens and free all the enslaved races, but he's not going to wipe anybody out. He _detests_ genocide. I'm going to save the Irken Empire, with his blessing, by CUTTING out the cancer. The _Tallest._"

"You're proposing an… _assassination_? But that's IMPOSSIBLE!" Zim yelled. "Also, YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY WITH IT!" He leapt at Kloof, but a single bash with the flat of Kloof's sword sent Zim tumbling, coming to a rough stop at the base of his computer console. "COMPUTER! STOP HIM!"

Kloof shook his head, even as laser cannons began to unfold from the walls. "Computer: Black Ops override password: soft pretzel." The cannons retracted, much to Zim's bewilderment, and the computer shut down.

"You… _betrayer…_" Tak whispered, her expression twisted into a horribly rage-filled visage.

Kloof turned to Gaz and Dib. "I showed up when Tak needed me most, because I hoped I would be able to get close to _Zim_ and manipulate him into helping me KILL the TALLEST. But I have a better idea: you two. I need the help of you two in assassinating the Tallest."

Without missing a beat, Dib gave Kloof an epic thumbs-up. "Kill Zim's leaders and throw his entire race into disarray, hopefully leading them to reorganize into a way that won't endanger Earth? SIGN ME THE CRUD UP!" he yelled.

Gaz was less enthusiastic. "Screw off, I'm playing Pig Cannon."

"I'll offer you an advanced modular alien gaming system in return for your services…" Gaz shrugged and agreed upon hearing that.

"Come on, then, before these two _blind FOOLS _can properly mount a counteroffensive." Kloof led them off into the elevator, leaving Zim and Tak alone to recover.

Kloof led the two into Tak's new ship, where they proceed to take off. Tak would've stopped them, had she not been frozen in surprise. "Wait!" Zim yelled. "GET BACK HERE! ZIM COMMANDS **YOOOUUU!**"

"Shut up, Zim," Kloof yelled. "Thank your lucky snacks I left you guys alive!" And then they were gone.

With a scowl on her face, Tak halfheartedly began to fix Mimi. Zim just fidgeted for several minutes, unsure of what to do, before deciding to boot up his computer again (he didn't bother with Gir for now). He worked on that a few minutes more, while Tak got all the pieces of Mimi together. Finally, with a carried-out sigh, she reluctantly began to speak. "Zim, much as I hate saying this, to defeat that _traitor_…" Tak almost spat. "We'll have to…" another pause for a swallow. "…work _together_."

"I _realize_ this!" Zim confirmed matter-of-factly as he turned from the computer and pulled the suction dart off Gir, slowly bringing the little robot around. "You know, Dib had your old ship fixed up at his house… since they left in _Kloof's_ ship, you could use that."

"My old ship!" Tak yelled, practically drooling with sudden anticipation. "With _that_ I can kick his metal ass…"

"I'm coming!" Zim yelled. "We can't let our TALLEST die!"

"That's why I said 'work together', you IMBECILE!" Tak yelled. "Now hurry up and show me where Dib lives, I have a _plan._"

"Will we be throwing Gir into something?"

"What?! _No_. And Zim?"

"…Yyyyyes?"

"Never. Speak. Again."

**End of Chapter**

**Alright then! Now you're probably wondering about Kloof. Here's the deal: Kloof is absolutely under the impression that he's doing the right thing. Whether he _is_, now there's the dilemma, which I'll leave for each reader to decide for themselves. And yes, Kloof is guilty of the same flaws in logic that other Irkens tend towards, but his main one runs pretty deep. Here it is: Kloof doesn't see what's wrong with killing every Irken _person_ to save the Irken _people._ The fact that he hasn't realized that little fallacy is intrisic to his character.  
**


	4. So Here's The Plan

**Oh, dear, it seems I forgot to send this chapter in. Sorry, everybody, for being late! Well, I'll have a chapter up next week, despite going on vacation, but due to hectic schedule I can't promise that one will be up quite on time either. Anyway, enjoy this one.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, Jhonen Vasquez and Nickelodeon do. I only own Kloof and the contents of this story.**

**The Betrayal**

**Rewrite Chapter 3**

**So Here's the Plan**

Dib couldn't help scurrying about, taking a good look at every nook and cranny of the ship that was currently hurtling through space with him inside. The cockpit was small, but roomier than either Zim's Voot or Tak's ship, which Zim had called a Spittle Runner at one point. There were a few seats as well as a stocked fridge and a microwave, which was heating up a package of Delishus Weenies. From the outside, the ship looked as if the Irkens had decided to make their _flying _version of an R.V., and added weapons to the front of the red, lima-bean-shaped chassis as an afterthought. It featured stubby little wings on the sides and top, big jets on the back, a pair of cylindrical devices on the front that were probably missile pods, and a large, silver device with a vertical slot in the front. It looked for all the world like a huge, single-slot toaster had been welded to the front.

"Kloof," Dib asked, "what kind of ship is this?"

"It's called a Squidge Gunship. Made by an independent company, but _based_ on Irken designs. It's good for long journeys, not that this'll be one; I _expect _we'll arrive in an hour."

"Gunship? I didn't see too many guns."

"Well, it's got a pair of missile launchers, and a BLT."

"A… BLT?" Dib failed to see how a sandwich functioned as a ship-mounted weapon.

Kloof looked at Dib like he was from another planet (which he was). "A Big Laser Thingy." A buzzing noise interrupted the conversation. "Hey, the Weenies are ready. You guys want some SODA with that?"

"Uh, sure," Dib said in surprise as he took the weenie and the soda.

"Yeah, whatever." Gaz had taken a break from her Gameslave to inspect the controls on the ship. She took a bite of the weenie and continued her dark scrutiny.

Kloof bit off half of his weenie at once. "Delishus! Tak's one crazy bitch, but she KNOWS where the best snacks are!"

They ate in silence for a moment; Dib was the first to break it. "So, Kloof, why'd you hit me at lunch today?" he asked.

"Oh, sorry about that. It's been a while now, but I'm _still_ not entirely used to the new body. I was trying to pretend to hit you, to make a convincing cover. I didn't pull my punch properly. Again… SORRY."

"No problem. Anyway, you said you had a plan for this mission."

"Oh, yeah." Kloof turned to the siblings. "Okay, guys. Here's what we're going to do. Once we dock – and that won't be a problem, I'm still underCOVER – I will personally _slay _the Tallest and their guards. And anybody else who gets in my way. While I'm doing that, you, Dib, will grab a deprogrammed SIR unit for me; the Resisty needs one for… a _project_. You can't miss them. Also, rip out any exposed wiring you find; it'll be good for our getaway if the Massive is _disabled_. If you see any guards, tell them you're a _slave_ race delivering… SNACKS. To the SIR Vault." Kloof turned to face Gaz. "Gaz, you will stay on the ship. If things get hairy, we'll need fire support, and we might even need a QUICK escape, in which case you'll blast a wall open in a hallway of the ship. Also, Tak or Zim might come after us, and then you'll need to _kill_ them." A grin spread slowly across his face, his silver teeth glinting in the starlight. "Is that clear, you guys?" he asked finally.

"Oh yeah!" Dib said, reviewing the plan in his head.

"Yeah… okay." Gaz agreed with her usual enthusiasm (or lack thereof).

"Great. I know you can do this." Kloof turned back to the ship's controls, checking the estimated time of arrival – half an hour.

---

Red and Purple sat on a comfy couch (not _the universe's most comfortable_, which they had conquered on Vort, but even the replicas they had imported were up there on the comfort scale), and sipped drinks, preparing to give the couch an official royal review. "I like this couch," Purple finally said, snuggling into it. "I think I'll give it an A-."

"You're always too generous when you grade furniture," Red muttered. "It's a B+."

"Nuh-uh! A-!"

"B+!"

"My Tallests?"

"What?" Red growled.

"'Invader' Tak is trying to contact you. So is Zim."

"Block Zim," Purple said immediately. "Let Tak through. Tak was going to give us a planet full of snacks!"

"Yeah, but _Zim_ beat her," Red argued. "How competent could she really be? Block her, too."

---

Zim sighed, cutting off the commlink. No luck contacting the Tallest; they always blocked his transmissions recently for some reason. He turned on a different communications channel. "Any luck?"

"The Tallest blocked me, too, and nobody picked up at the number Kloof gave me for Black Ops _headquarters,_ but I managed to hack their videophone system…" she trailed off.

"**And?**" Zim asked hopefully.

"They're DEAD, Zim!" she snapped. "There's nobody else left at Black Ops! They're ALL _dead!_" She paused for a moment, letting Zim absorb the information.

It didn't take. "SO, what happened? Snack poisoning?"

"Kloof KILLED them all, ZIM! The bodies I could see on the camera all had sword wounds!" She paused to calm herself down; Mimi, who had swiftly been repaired, offered Tak a can of soda, but she pushed it away. "There were a lot of slit throats and crushed PAKs – he probably used SNEAK attacks to overcome the _superior_ numbers. By not killing _us,_ he showed kindness. A WEAKNESS, Zim!" Tak was working herself back into a frenzy. "If we are to destroy this TRAITOR, we need to exploit his WEAKNESSES while we have the _chance_!" There were a few moments of silence afterwards, until Zim noticed Tak's ship was beginning to overtake his, despite the fact that his Voot had a five-minute head start while Tak had been fixing the Spittle Runner.

"Tak, I will admit that I _am _rather…amazed at how you managed to fix that old ship of yours AND reload your personality into it in precisely three and a half minutes." Zim said to Tak.

"Yes well, spaceships and snacks are my specialty." Tak sounded quite proud of herself, but she had neglected to mention how much Dib and Gaz had fixed already. "I would ask what _yours _are, but I am already aware that complete idiocy _is _your specialty!"

Zim seemed oblivious to the jab. "_Gir_, I want you to…what are you doing?" Zim asked Gir.

Gir was covering up bittersweet chocolate chips under a tissue. "I'm tucking them in for beddy-by!" Then he closed his eyes and stuck his tongue out with a smile. Zim couldn't think of a response to that.

"Listen, Zim." Tak said, interrupting his already shaken train of thought. "Here's the plan. _I_ will shoot down Kloof's ship, which will be his only escape route, and then I'll hunt down those horrible Earth children and DESTROY them (because you've obviously proven that's _too much_ for you to handle). YOU will go and try to warn the Tallest in person. Don't listen to ANYbody who tries to block your way – so _basically,_ do what comes naturally. Gir and Mimi are to slow down Kloof; _we_ can't risk our own lives against his blades. Is that all FINE?!"

"Yeah, sure…" Zim said, **!!not really paying attention.!!**

"You won't follow the plan, will you?" Tak asked in exasperation.

"No…" Zim thought for a moment. "No I won't."

------------------------------------

"Identify yourself!" An Irken in a high purple collar asked, appearing onscreen on Kloof's display screen.

"Irken Black Ops Kloof," he responded, flashing an identification. "Now let me dock, this is IMPORTANT."

"How important?" the technician asked skeptically. He obviously hadn't even HEARD of Black Ops, but they were just that secret.

"The fate of the ENTIRE IRKEN RACE depends on me meeting with the Tallest!" Kloof proclaimed (which was entirely true). "Also, I outrank you, so _shut up._"

"Y-Yessir." There were no more questions asked, and Kloof docked the ship. He and Dib entered the Massive with little fanfare, under the disguise that Dib was Kloof's prisoner being taken for questioning.

Dib decided he'd take the opportunity to look around at his alien surroundings (the enemy flagship! Sweet!). The hallways, like most Irken architecture, seemed to be generally composed of red and purple alloys. Here, in the outermost hallways, he noticed one-way windows showing off the starry blackness. "We're going to have to retrace our steps. Will you be able to?" Kloof asked, jarring Dib out of his reverie.

Dib thought about it. There didn't seem to be much rhyme or reason to the ship's design, but the hallways were at least clearly marked – in the Irken written language, which he had memorized by now. "Yeah, I think so… this place is like a maze, though!"

"I had heard as much. There are_ no_ directories on the walls – you have to EARN them for gaining the Tallests' favor, so new recruits and unlucky service drones are always getting lost on the ship."

"Why would the Tallest do something so inefficient? To slow down attackers?"

Kloof laughed. "No, it's just because they're **_!!dicks!!_**. No Irken would even DREAM of the possibility that the Massive would be stormed. _Assassinations_, on the other hand, they're a bit better prepared for. Nothing I can't handle, with these nifty swords."

"That's a relief – hey, isn't that Zim's ship?"

"What-huh?" Kloof turned to look out the window. "_Crap._" It was true - the familiar little Voot cruiser was docking down on the Massive. "Here's where we split up, Dib – remember, SIR unit, rip wires, remember the turns you take."

---

"This is so…" Gaz struggled to find a better word, before she finally gave up and settled for "…boring." She glanced around. Nothing. Where was that game system Kloof had promised her? If he had lied to her, she'd rip his limbs off. She was just checking the fridge for the game system when Tak's face flickered on-screen. "ATTENTION, BETRAYER!" she shrieked. "_If_ you are on your ship, prepare to be shot down!"

"He's already onboard," Gaz explained, walking back to the controls.

"Oh, it's _you_," Tak said disdainfully. "Well, I'm going to destroy that _traitor's_ escape route now, so… bye-bye." Gaz noticed a large beam flying right towards the ship from her left, and swiftly grabbed the joystick, rolling the Squidge out of the line of fire.

"Kloof says you're a better pilot than Zim or my _brother,_" Gaz stated matter-of-factly as she settled into the pilot's seat. "We'll see about that."

**End of Chapter**

**Woo! The bulk of the action is next chapter!  
**


	5. Stop the Unstoppable

**Well, this time it's only one day late. Maybe I'll do myself one better again next week and release a chapter that's no days late! All that aside, this was the only chapter that I had written myself in the original version (Kind of; I've moved the last scene of the original version's chapter to the beginning of next chapter). This version has been pretty heavily overhauled, including, for example, the presence of Minimoose. MOOSEY!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim. **

**The Betrayal**

**Rewrite Chapter 4**

**Stop the Unstoppable**

"Excuse me, sir?" The Irken guard turned, veins bulging above his goggles and high collar, muscles bulging under his magenta uniform. A little… hairy pink thing in a black jacket stared up at him. "I'm a slave here for a delivery task. Where is SIR unit storage?"

The guard spoke in a condescending but kind tone, as if Dib was a lost puppy or something. "Go on down this hall, take the third right, and it's clearly marked to the left, little slave beastie!" he said with a dumb smile.

"Thank you, much superior being!" Dib said, choking on the bitter-tasting words as he ran off. It only took him another minute or two to find SIR Unit storage, and on the room's door, there was another sign. One that read **'WARNING: EXPOSED WIRING'**. Dib smiled, much like he did when he first discovered Tak's ship.

---

Kloof walked briskly through the hallways of the Massive. He didn't draw even the slightest modicum of suspicion; that was the best part. Turning down another hallway, he found it obstructed; and his scarred lips sagged into a frown. The obstruction consisted of Zim standing in place with a truly ridiculous amount of self-confidence, flanked by Gir, Minimoose, and Mimi. "Stop right there, you _HIDEOUS TRAITOR!_" Zim screeched.

"Your words wound me, Zim," Kloof said calmly. "Actually, no. No they don't. Nothing you do can ever wound me again. _Stand. Down._"

"You DARE to order me around?!"

"Sure. Why NOT? I'm Taller than you, I outrank you, and I can very truly kill you if I need to." Kloof drew his swords, giving Zim a good look at them. They were long, wide slabs of metal attached to simple handles. Diodes and wiring, crackling with electricity, had been welded liberally onto the flat sides of the blades. "Last chance."

Zim growled, head down, pinkish eyes averted, hands balled into tiny fists. Finally, he yelled, "Mimi! Attack!" Kloof brought up his blades, but Mimi's claw was lightning fast, striking under his swords and pounding his stomach. He was slammed backward into the wall. "How do you like THAT, _Kloof?!"_

"It's a start," Kloof said with a smile. Mimi leapt at Kloof again, this time aiming her claw at his throat, but Kloof blocked the attack with one sword while smashing Mimi to the ground with the flat of the other. Before the vicious little robot could regain its footing, Kloof kicked it away. "Now you have to die!" The armored Irken bull-rushed Zim, swords extended like wings so they nearly scraped the sides of the hallway, hornlike antennae pointed forward.

"Ahh! Minimoose, defend me!" Zim cried. Minimoose squeaked and a small Gatling gun extended from his stomach, firing a burst of rounds at Kloof. They simply ricocheted off his armor, and Kloof stunned Minimoose by leaping up and smashing the tiny robot moose between his shoulder and the ceiling. Kloof took a clumsy slash at Zim as he fell, but Zim dodged out of the way. "GIR! Protect your master!"

Zim expected Gir to shift into Duty Mode, at least long enough to slow Kloof down. Instead, some sort of wide-barreled gun came out of Gir's chest and began firing chocolate hard shell at Kloof, causing him to gasp as the hardening, waxy dessert topping engulfed him.

"Gir! Where did you get _that?_!" Zim yelled questioningly.

"I got CREDIT CARDS, mastah!" Gir cheerily shouted in response, not letting up on the stream of chocolaty goodness.

Zim ignored the potential dangers of Gir having credit cards at the moment to keep his attention on Kloof. "Minimoose! Freeze rays!" Having recovered, Minimoose shot cyan-colored rays from his antlers, hardening a very angry and chocolate-coated Kloof. Thick as it was, the shell began to crack almost immediately, though…

---

"Charge the laser!" Tak screamed. Gaz was revving up her ship's engine, but she was still mostly a sitting duck as her ship went through the ignition sequence.

"_Weapons charging."_ The ship's computer, as a result of multilayered tampering, now spoke in an eerie double-voice that sounded at once like Tak and Dib. That kind of problem could be hammered out later. _"Laser fully charged."_

"Fire, then!" _I shouldn't have left Mimi with that idiot Zim. Next time Kloof wrecks her, she may be beyond repair, and I can't trust ZIM to keep her safe, to be sure._ Tak shook her head and refocused on the situation at hand, frowning as Gaz managed to dodge again, with just the secondary rockets. Worse, this time Tak managed to blast an ugly hole in the hull of the Massive instead.

"Is that the best you can do?" Gaz's bored tone only served to further grind Tak's gears. Seething, Tak decided not to bother charging her laser anymore and decided to just start firing it as quickly as it could, efficiency be damned.

Gaz veered upwards, away from the stream of death, and rushed Tak, firing the BLT. The results were delightfully effective: a red plane of light, arcing taller and taller, slammed into Tak, knocking her ship for a loop and leaving it crackling with electricity.

"_Warning: Shields down." DAMN! I just got those shields working on the trip over!_ "You little BITCH!" Tak began charging the laser again, but this time, instead of waiting, she accelerated and slammed into Kloof's larger gunship, causing it to roll uncontrollably and denting the side. Cackling, Tak pulled a quick U-turn and rushed Gaz again.

Unfortunately, Gaz was angry now. "I'm going to _tear_ you into alien shreds, _cram_ them through a wood chipper, and _feed_ them to that little dog who lives next door!" Gaz shouted. Gaz fired off a pair of rockets, which Tak easily swerved to avoid… only to scream as she realized she was rolling right into the path of the BLT.

The shot Gaz fired literally _peeled_ a thin slice off of Tak's ship, leaving an ugly, sparking grey scar along the left flank. "You'll need to do BETTER THAN THAT!" Tak retorted as she slammed into Gaz's windshield, this time so dead-center that she began pushing the gunship backwards instead of glancing off of it. Another pair of missiles Gaz had been firing went wild, careening into a nearby Shuvver and destroying it. Tak and Gaz paused and locked eyes through their respective flattened windshields, creating a moment of eerie calm.

---

"I'm sorry, Invader Sneakyonfoota," Red said, "But we can't spare twenty tanks for your operation." The slim Invader on the screen sagged, eyes downcast. "Look, you're one of our taller Invaders, and we appreciate that-"

"Really, we do," Purple added helpfully.

"…But a dozen are going to have to do. It's not that we don't have the money, but that we don't have the _tanks_. There was a malfunction on Maketanksia…"

"My Tallest, we have a code-_Z_ problem," an Irken officer said. "Zim is onboard."

"I'm afraid the matter isn't negotiable, and we have a pressing issue…" Red concluded, hastily cutting the connection with Sneakyonfoota.

"Zim?!" Purple yelled. "Crap! He's annoying enough in exile!"

"Well, my Tallest, I have him on-camera. It seems another Irken is already… _solving _the problem."

"Really? Let me see!" Red ordered. A black-and-white camera feed, including sound, was brought up of Kloof slashing wildly, nearly splitting Zim open despite still being covered in chocolate from the waist down. "That's awesome!" the Tallest yelled, laughing. "You! Popcorn! Bring it!"

Purple pointed at the guards. "You guys and about… _thirty_ others go help whoever this guy is out. I want you to capture Zim, but _accidentally_ kill him through excessive force, got it?!" The guards nodded and ran out of the room.

"That was a little harsh," Red chuckled.

"I just want to see Zim _hurt. _Or die."

"I know. That was a compliment."

---

Screaming, Kloof broke his legs out of the chocolate hard shell and charged Gir. "Hug me!" Gir screamed, but instead, Kloof impaled Gir through the chest, lifted his new Gir-skewer into the air, and used his other blade to chop off the robot's skinny little legs. Gir didn't seem overly fazed by the experience. "Look master, I'm a donut!" he said to Zim.

"Are you alright, Gir?" Zim asked, more out of general panic then genuine concern, frantically searching his PAK's storage compartment for a weapon with some power.

"I can fill mah chest with fine china!" Kloof decided holding Gir in the air on the end of his sword was no longer an efficient use of his time, and simply flung him away.

Mimi, on her feet again, opened up a chest cavity and shot her own missiles at Kloof, a rack of little conical things that looked fairly unpleasant. However, Kloof dodged with surprising ease. He moved with the reflexes and intensity of one born and raised for the battlefield, letting rockets rush along his neck, under his arms, between his antennae. Finally, he zipped behind Tak's robot companion. "Good_night!_" Mimi turned and swung her claw, knocking Kloof away, but it was too late – even as she sent him flying, her head disconnected from its body.

"How did you _do_ that? TELL the Zim!!_" _the little green Invader yelled, firing a laser pistol he had produced.

Shielding his face with his far less vulnerable arm, Kloof stood and ran towards Zim. The laser beams left only minor singe marks in the rebel's armor, and Zim was forced back by another sweeping slash. "Don't patronize me, Zim. I was top of the class for a reason, yeah?" Another swing of the sword, high and horizontal. Zim dodged by leaning _way_ far back, but fell down on his butt for the trouble, and his gun went skidding away.

"MINIMOOSE! Power tackle!" Zim ordered, and the little moose crashed into Kloof's back with all the fury and power of a cannonball (well, _most _of the fury). "You haven't won yet, you stinking stink-traitor!" Zim yelled, activating the spider legs in his PAK and launching two forward. Stumbling to his feet, Kloof dodged one and pushed Minimoose into the other, blocking it and causing the little floating robot to squeak in pain. "Uh-oh."

"Yes, uh-oh!" Dropping one sword, Kloof grabbed the extended spider-leg and pulled Zim forward, slicing off the mechanical leg with his blade. When the screaming Zim reached him, Kloof viciously butted foreheads with him, and the smaller, fleshier Irken tumbled to the ground again. When his vision refocused, he noticed Kloof walking towards Zim with both swords again, Zim's blood on his forehead and an unnervingly wide grin on his lips. "_Keep it coming, _ZIM! I haven't felt this alive since the accident!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gaz growled in frustration. No matter where she fired her weapons, she just couldn't seem to get a direct hit on Tak. Tak shot Gaz with her own, fully charged laser, and stunned the ship. She then took the opportunity to ram Gaz yet again, building up a new charge for the laser. Gaz screamed in anger and fired her last four missiles simultaneously. Boosting as fast as she could without engaging the hyperdrive, Gaz raced her own missiles and passed Tak by. "What's that wretched HYUMAN planning now?!" Tak snarled as she dodged the missiles, which curved off. Curious, Tak gave chase, as Gaz raced towards the rear of the Massive and skimmed along the surface.

Meanwhile, a communication channel cracked to life on Gaz's console; the pilot of a nearby Viral Tank. "Identify yourselves! What's going on between you two?" Gaz pressed a button on the console to close and block communication channels; for her convenience, Kloof had marked it '**SCREW YOU**'.

With that taken care of, Gaz pulled a 180 while still flying in the same direction. "Let's see how well you can play," Gaz muttered as she fired the BLT. This time, Tak was able to dodge entirely and blast the offending weapon with a charged laser, sending the Squidge rolling. Gaz's head jolted against the dashboard as the shipboard computer warned her that weapons systems were offline due to the critical hit.

Cackling triumphantly, Tak rose above Gaz's ship (relative to the Massive's hull, that is) and extended her ship's claws. "It was nice playing with you, human, but I have a _traitor _to stop!" Then she noticed a missile from before was streaking towards her – crap, it had a lock on her! Forgoing the finishing blow, she dodged towards a Viral tank and managed to get the missile to smash into that instead, heavily damaging it. "Now, I was finishing you off…"

"But you have to deal with the other missiles first," Gaz reminded her.

"Huh?" Tak noticed with a growl the three dart-shaped blips on her radar, closing in fast from above her five-o-clock. Still maintaining the growl, she flew back down to the Massive and skimmed along it, but this time she was unable to shake the missiles. She began charging the laser, intending to spin in place and sweep away the stupid projectiles with one blast… but then a larger ship was right on top of her, crushing the Dibship/Spittle Runner down into the hull of the Massive, slowing it down by force, and now the missiles were closing in, and the hull was caving under the pressure, and the flashing lights, and the missiles, and the warning beeps, and the missiles, and the missiles!

"Bye," Gaz snickered, flying off.

"CURSED BACON!" Tak screamed, ejecting. Only… there wasn't an eject pod anymore. She was thrown bodily from the ship, only just barely having time to activate the auto-helmet.

Engaging her oxygen, Tak watched in a mix of fury and shock as the missiles slammed into the Spittle Runner, sending it into a death roll before it exploded in a bright flash. She scrambled into the Massive's airlock, cursing to herself for losing the ship she had just gotten back to that horrible little girl. But as soon as she clambered in, she found herself brushed aside by a flock of Irken troops running by, and Tak just stared at them, confused. "Where the hell are you going?" Tak yelled.

"Some metal person is beating up that Zim guy everybody always blames for everything!" a guard explained breathlessly, not even slowing down. Tak ran after them. At the very least, she would retrieve Mimi, and with luck, she could make sure neither Zim nor Kloof would leave the Massive alive.

Gaz drank more soda as the computer flashed the brightly lit message: "Player 2 Wins."

-------------------------------

Zim rolled nimbly under Kloof's slashing attack and came up with an uppercut, actually hitting Kloof's skin and bone. Kloof stumbled backwards, and Zim propelled himself into the air with his remaining spider legs, coming down hard on Kloof's head. This wasn't nearly as effective, as Kloof didn't even flinch, but took a slash at Zim's legs instead. Zim pulled his legs out of the way by lifting himself back up with his spider legs, but Kloof slashed in a circle, cutting through all of these and leaving Zim to crash face-first to the floor. "Ow," Zim said eloquently.

"Come on, Zim!" Kloof pulled back his leg and kicked Zim hard in the ribs. There was a cracking noise, and Zim was sent flying again. "I'm just starting to have **fun**!"

Gasping, Zim struggled to his feet, then screamed as Kloof ran for him again. "Minimoose! Fire your ion cannon!"

"Squeek."

"What?!" Zim rolled out of the way of a cleaving attack, and Kloof only managed to slice through a wall instead. "What do you mean I never _built_ an ion cannon?! Well, fire anything you have!"

"Squeak!" A torrent of laser light, ball lightning, flame, rockets, and bullets exploded out from Minimoose's front, roaring towards Kloof. The cyborg Irken ducked, but even the edge of the blast clipped one of his false antennae, entirely destroying it as it passed to smash a huge hole in an inner wall.

"Shit! That thing wasn't in Tak's intel!" Kloof swung his swords, and the electricity that crackled along his blades formed into arcs of energy that flew straight at Minimoose. Still, the little robot dodged all the cutting waves, rolling around in midair like a mad butterfly as a foreboding ball of energy formed between his antlers. "Much as I enjoyed the _light show_…" Kloof leapt into the air and embedded a sword between Minimoose's eyes, creating a shower of sparks and causing the poor little moosebot to let out a pitiful wail. "Is that all you and your robots have, ZIM?" Then the charge from the laser blast overloaded, firing automatically with enough concussive force to blast Kloof backwards through several walls of the Massive.

"Minimoose?" Zim scurried over to Minimoose, who squeaked weakly in reply. "That was the ion cannon I was talking about!"

"Squeak…"

"Really? That was a particle projector? You sure?"

"Squeak!"

"Fine, no need to get TESTY." Zim pulled the sword out of Minimoose's forehead, then noticed Kloof's other sword lying on the ground nearby and grabbed that, too. "Let's see how strong the _traitor_ is when I have his weapons! He will bow, BOW! And I'll turn him into _soup _anyway!"

"Neat!" Gir yelled, applauding. "Can I come, mastah?"

"No, Gir. Your legs aren't working. Now… to _victory_!" Zim raised the swords in triumph… and almost fell over. They were so heavy that Zim had to stabilize himself with his (drastically shortened) spider-legs while swinging them or he'd lose balance. Still, he leapt through the multiple holes in the wall after his foe, dragging the heavy blades behind him. "I'M COMING, SOUP!"

**End of Chapter**

**Next chapter, the thrilling end to the battle between Zim and Kloof! And will Tak use the situation to her own ends?**


	6. To Err is Irken

**Gah! Why have I been such a horrible uploader lately? I'm sorry, truly sorry, everybody! Anyway, here's the penultimate chapter! The main fight ends here, and we've also got some stage-setting for the rest of the saga. I hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, Jhonen Vasquez does. I only own Kloof and the contents of this story.  
**

**The Betrayal**

**Rewrite Ch. 5**

**To Err is Irken**

The service drone nervously crawled out from his improvised hiding place (a picnic-style table here in the thirteenth sector snack bar), temporarily lifting the miniature table that his job forced him to carry on his head and scratching his scalp. He thought a large red cannonball had been fired into the hull of the Massive, but cannonballs didn't have arms… or legs… or horns. In fact, now that he got a good look at the cannonball, it looked more like an Irken of short-medium height wearing a green visor and red full-body armor of some type he'd never seen before. The Irken was still alive, certainly – he was twitching, and his teeth were gritted. His chest plate was burnt nearly black, and had cracked from the heat and force of whatever struck him, but he was definitely alive. "Sir?" the drone asked nervously, his pink eyes darting around as he looked for whatever could have blasted this Irken so hard. "Are you alright, sir?"

The Irken reached up with one large, three-fingered hand and grabbed the drone's shirt, smiling rather alarmingly. "Never better."

---

"Kill, kill, kill, _kill_ the filthy traitor!" Zim sang as he hopped through roughly Kloof-shaped holes in the wall. He had just come up with the song. Catchy, yes? "Slice, slice, sli-_oof!_" Zim was temporarily halted as he jumped through the last whole, as an unconscious table-headed service drone collided with him table-first. Quickly pulling himself up to his feet, Zim heaved the swords forward, using their weight to throw himself through the last hole. Kloof had gotten to his feet, smiling. "What are _you_ smiling about? You're not allowed to smile!" Zim yelled.

"I'm enjoying myself immensely," Kloof explained. "Pushing this new body to the _limit,_ smashing _anybody_ who gets in my way, it's _euphoric_! I feel INDESTRUCTIBLE!" He reared back his head and laughed the kind of laugh that makes you take two giant steps back from somebody.

After taking two giant steps back, Zim yelled in reply, "You look pretty destructible to me! Especially since I have your swords now!" Grunting, Zim lifted the crackling blades. "And they're obviously the source of your power!" He ran forward and attacked with a double downward slash that could have chopped Kloof's arms off. Kloof, however, just sidestepped, and Zim stumbled, totally off-balance. "_Urgh_, so heavy!"

"A weapon's only as good as the Irken holding it, Zim. Don't you know that?" Kloof proceeded to lift an entire picnic table. "Incidentally, those swords were built for somebody with tireless mechanical arms."

"Oh, that's bad," Zim said. He dropped the swords and tried to jump away, but his efforts were in vain.

"Batter UP!" Kloof struck Zim with a two-handed swing of the table, putting his whole body into it. Zim was knocked back through the wall he had entered through… two walls… three walls… before he knew it, he bounced off the far wall of the room the fight had begun in and fell to the floor with an unceremonious thud.

"Hiya, mastah!" Gir was sitting no more than ten feet from Zim's landing site, propped up against the wall with a sparking Minimoose next to him.

"Oh, hello, Gir," Zim replied dazedly. Suddenly, he was lifted off the floor and planted back into the wall by a large red blur carrying a shiny blur.

"You've really delayed me, _Zim,_" the red blur chuckled as it coalesced into Kloof. "You know, I wonder… if I chop _you_ up into little bitty pieces, if the Empire will be willing to spend money fixing what's left like they did for me?" He brought up the shiny blur, which Zim now realized was his sword.

"Gir! Eye lasers!"

"**Yes sir!" **Gir fired his lasers, temporarily entering Duty Mode, but it was in vain. Kloof ducked the beams and slashed with his sword, releasing another wave of force which struck Gir in the face and disabled the lasers.

"Goodbye, Zim. It's been fun playing." Zim squeezed his eyes tight as Kloof pulled his sword back. However, the sound of boots beating against the metal floor in unison was becoming increasingly loud, causing both Zim and Kloof to turn.

A large regiment of Irken guards with shock prods had shown up. Some had rifles as well. "Sir," the female guard in the lead said, "We're here to help you capture him." She was speaking to Kloof, referring to Zim.

Neither Kloof nor Zim realized this.

As Zim let out a sigh of relief, Kloof screamed in fury. "DAMN! I'm too late!" He turned and threw Zim much as he had thrown the service drone, beaning the guard in the head and knocking her and Zim to the ground. "So be it! Whether I die or not, none of you will leave this hallway alive!" Drawing his other sword, he rushed into the confused mass of guards, slashing away. Forgotten in the confusion, Zim was accidentally kicked in the head, and rolled back to a wall. Despite his efforts to stay alert, he quickly faded to unconsciousness.

---

Dib whistled as he walked back to the rendezvous point. A deactivated SIR unit, eyes dark and blank, was slung over his shoulders – he was surprised at how light it was. Of course, Gir had once clung to the back of his head without him noticing, so maybe he shouldn't be. He had gotten the SIR unit without incident, and pulled wires out at random from various loose panels (he had accidentally disabled that room's artificial gravity, which made him wonder how wise it was to just screw with various systems on a spaceship). He hadn't gone lost, and he was almost back to where Gaz was supposed to meet them – it was almost too easy!

He turned to look out the window, and noticed Gaz flying by in the Squidge Gunship. Then he saw the various Voot Cruisers, Spittle Runners, and other ships chasing after it. He sighed; it was definitely too easy.

---

Zim's eyes fluttered open, registering somebody vague peering down at him. Damn, he hadn't meant to pass out. How long had he been unconscious? His underdeveloped panic faded when his PAK assured him it had only been a few minutes. Then the panic started up again, in full swing, when he realized what he was seeing. "Tak?"

"Yyyyyyes, Zim?" Her teeth were grinding; she sounded like she was under a lot of stress.

"Why are you pointing that knife at me?"

"I'm trying to decide whether I should kill you or not."

"I vote not."

"_Shut up,_ Zim." The knife was shaking in her hand; in fact, her whole body was shaking. "I… hate you… so… much... I haven't relaxed in _fifty years,_ Zim. You ruined my life! You turned Kloof from a prime Irken soldier into… that ABOMINATION!" She frantically pointed the knife off to the side, where Zim realized the fight was still going on. It was horrifying; none of the guards' weapons were working, Kloof was just tearing through them like wet construction paper. A bit of dark green Irken blood flew from one of his swords nearly thirty feet, spattering just short of where Zim lay at Tak's mercy. "Your bumbling idiocy has hit our people like a _holocaust!_"

"You're just jealous," Zim retorted, still bleary-eyed. Was he concussed?

"YARGH!" Tak brought the knife down… into the floor. "I can't do it. DAMN IT ALL, I can't kill you! Not here… not like this." Tak picked up Mimi. "Good-bye, Zim. I hope you don't escape before Kloof decides to kill you too. And if you do, you can count on me to come back and finish the job someday _soon._" And then she was gone, disappearing down a side corridor.

"That was frightening," Zim admitted as he pulled himself to his feet. He frowned deeply; no spider legs, and Gir and Minimoose were badly damaged. He had to get out of here with both of them, and fast. "Minimoose, can you fly?"

Minimoose squeaked pitifully.

"That's not good. Gir, can you walk?"

"Well, I can't move my legs. BAD LEGS!" Gir grabbed his severed left leg and began banging it against the ground.

Zim growled. "Mad dookie! I can't carry you both!"

"Oh… well I can just do this!" Gir flipped himself over and hand-walked along the ground, his antenna dragging and creating a few sparks. "I learned to do this from tha TV!"

"That's great, Gir, let's just… let's just get out of here." Zim grabbed Minimoose and, carrying him by the antlers, stumbled off in the general direction of his Voot, Gir hand sprinting behind him.

---

"You!" Kloof slammed the last guard, the female he had initially hit with Zim, into the wall with his elbow in her gut (she was taller than him, so he couldn't press his forearm to her throat like he would have preferred to). "Who told you that I intended to assassinate the Tallest?"

"I… what?" the guard managed to wheeze.

"WHO?!" The point of Kloof's sword came very close to where her nose would be.

"Nobody told us… we were here to help _you _arrest _Zim._"

Kloof let her drop. "…Really?"

She began to laugh quietly. "But the _Tallest_… they've been watching this on the security cameras… which have _sound_. They just HEARD you were going to assassinate them! You just confessed, TRAITOR!" She was in full-blown cackling mode now.

"DAMMIT!" Kloof ran her through with his sword, cutting off her cackle with a sort of choking gurgle. "There are going to be hundreds more guards after me, and the Tallest will have AMPLE time to escape, _even_ if I do fight through them all! Should I try anyway? No... no, I need to get to the extraction point. I can't just put Dib and Gaz's lives on the line with mine for a _fool's _errand like this, and I'm more useful to the Resisty ALIVE."

Kloof began to sprint for the point they had agreed on, bowling over any Irken he happened to pass and even reaching his arms out to clothesline the ones that made way. _This all happened because I let my bloodlust get the better of me... I failed my most important mission! I will NEVER let my desire for battle control me again! I swear it!_

---

"Heyyyy..." Purple said. "That guy's trying to kill us! That's not good... yes, I'm almost sure it's not good! Should we be panicking?!"

"No, sir, you should be alright. We have many, _many_ guards after the traitor, and he will be made to pay for his crimes."

"I thought it was impossible for Irkens to betray the Empire," Red said loudly, scratching his head.

"Yeah, I remember somebody telling us that..." Purple added. He scanned his advisors, then picked one entirely at random. "YOU! You said that!"

"My Tallest, I assure you I said nothing of the sort."

"Lies!" Purple threw a donut at his head. "You were wrong! Red, let's punish him!"

"Alright. Should we have him thrown out the airlock?" Red asked casually, munching on his own donut.

"Nah, there are too many Irkens on the ship dying already. Let's just demote him to janitor drone."

Red pointed at Purple, then at his forehead. "Good thinking, man. There's a lot of blood to wipe up down on the first sublevel right now."

The poor advisor just hung his head and groaned.

---

"Kloof?" Dib looked surprised for a moment, but quickly regained his composure. Kloof had gone to assassinate what amounted to two kings in their throne room. Succeed or fail, he'd make his exit sprinting.

"Mission failed, but at least we're ALIVE!" Kloof grabbed Dib by the arm as he ran by, almost dragging Dib along. "How about you?"

"I got you a SIR!" Dib gasped.

"Excellent! I knew I could count on you, Dib! This is the right hangar, yeah?"

"Yeah, I think so." Kloof didn't even bother to wait the half-second for the door to slide open - his body made for an effective battering ram. Dib followed him through the broken doorway. "Kloof, Gaz is being pursued!"

"Shit, really?" Gaz chose that moment to come crashing in through closed hangar doors. The gunship was battered and scratched as the door popped open.

"Get. The hell. In," Gaz hissed, and Dib and Kloof didn't waste any time complying.

"At least we have weapons," Kloof sighed as he plopped down in the copilot's chair and Dib threw the deactivated SIR in the back. "The Massive is one thing, but this baby can bust through a hastily formed blockade of small Irken craft in the right hands. And I'm pretty sure Gaz and I are the right hands."

"About that..." Gaz said as she flew out the same hole she had just created. "Tak shut down our weapons systems when she attacked."

**End Of Chapter**

**Oh noes! How will Dib, Gaz and Kloof get out of this one? Or will they not get out at all?! Find out next week in the thrilling conclusion!  
**


	7. I'll Be Back Goodbye

**Yeah, late again. I'm sorry. Look, it's the last chapter, so... you don't have to deal with it again! Enjoy the last chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim. I only own Kloof and the contents of this story!  
**

**Rewrite Ch. 6**

**I'll Be Back (Goodbye)**

"I'm sorry," Kloof said very evenly, "I must have had a wad of bad news caught in my aural circuits. Did you say the weapons were destroyed?"

"That's exactly what I said," Gaz muttered. It pained her to admit that she had let Tak even get some hits in during the fight, let alone a critically damaging attack like that one.

"Well, that makes our prospects a lot _darker_," Kloof admitted, a bit of artificial cheeriness creeping into his voice, "but we've still got a few options left to us. GAZ! I'm going to need your best maneuvering skills here, or we'll die and you won't get your handheld system! Can I count on you?"

"Where's the game system?"

"We'll DIE, Gaz!" Dib pleaded.

"Shut up! Kloof, where's… the… game… system?" Kloof calmly opened the glove compartment, then opened a second compartment _inside _the glove compartment, revealing a black device similar in shape to her Gameslave, but with a few clearly alien touches to the design. For one thing, the directional pad was on the other side. Gaz nodded, allowing herself something that might, under some circumstances, be called a smile. "This will be the roughest chase sequence I've ever faced," the purple-haired demon child admitted, turning back to the controls, "So anybody who wants to live should buckle up." As soon as she finished her sentence, the ship took a sudden lurch as she dashed between two Shuvvers that had been waiting for her to make the first move. Trying to cut her off, they only succeeded in smashing into each other.

"Right then," Kloof chuckled. "_Dib_. There's a self-repair program, and you can read the Irken menu. Find it ASAP so Gaz can get some manner of weapons."

"Right!" Dib opened a viewscreen on his corner of the windshield and began browsing the interface with an admirable speed, considering he had only first seen this alphabet three or four months ago. The ship lurched as Gaz dodged a Viral Tank's swarm of beams, and Dib's head slammed into the dashboard with an audible thud (and a more audible yelp), but he did his best to shrug it off and keep poking at the keyboard, ignoring a bit of blood seeping down his forehead. He heard the pounding of faster, more frenzied typing, and looked over to see Kloof working on something else. "What're you doing?"

"When I joined Black Ops, I gained access to all their override codes – you saw me use one to shut down _Zim's_ computer – but I'm not sure if they'll work, or to what extent. Black Ops was in a HORRIBLE state when I joined – I was the only new recruit in sixty years, and the only young Irken left by any measure, because Miyuki and subsequent Tallest had disproved of them AND cut most of their funding. Their codes were _mostly _outdated, but luckily so was Zim's equipment. The ships that accompany the _Massive_ are newer, and these codes might not work. Even if they do, there's probably a limit on how many codes work at a time, to prevent Black Ops from attempting a coup." Kloof had been typing continuously as he spoke. "Unfortunately, I've tried every code I have for these ships. I think these codes are worthless except against outdated Irken tech. WORTHLESS!" he nearly smashed his fist into the control panel, but stopped himself in time. "How are things on _your _end, Dib?" he asked, the false cheeriness back.

"Good, kinda. In another… _thirty_ seconds, the missile launchers will be back on, but it'll take a few hours to repair the laser – Tak mostly damaged that."

Gaz growled. "The missile launchers are useless! I ran out before Tak got me!"

"Crap," Kloof said simply.

"And these bastards are herding me back towards the Massive! If we get within a thousand feet of that thing, its lasers will _obliterate _us!"

"Double crap – wait a minute. We can load things into the missile launchers from in here!" Kloof turned to Dib, who had done all he could for the self-repair program. "Dib, what in here can we feed into the missile slots?!"

"What?" Dib scratched his head. "Maybe that SIR Unit I got?"

"No, that's too big. This thing launches missiles about the size of…" Kloof trailed off as an explosion, dangerously close, rocked the cockpit.

"About the size of what?!" Dib questioned impatiently.

Kloof stroked his chin. "…the size of… a can of soda." He leapt from his seat, only to immediately fall to one knee from another shockwave. "QUICKLY! Help me load all the soda into the missile slots, Dib!" He brought an entire case of soda cans, Irken in origin, out of the fridge.

"All of this?!" Dib asked incredulously, crawling across the floor of the ship towards the cans.

Kloof sniffled a little as he opened a circular hole under the right-hand side of the control panel. "All of it," he said sadly. "Remember, throw the cans in unopened. They should burst in the vacuum of space and create a foamy smokescreen."

"That plan's totally insane!" Dib argued.

"Any better ideas?"

"… I'm stuffing already!"

"Grab onto something!" Gaz warned, barrel rolling the ship to dodge a flurry of spherical energy blasts. She was now being flanked by a quartet of Voot Cruisers, each of a newer, faster model than Zim's. She looped the ship upwards, and the Cruisers followed the move exactly, but instead of completing the loop, she pushed away the throttle and completed an S-shaped climb, shaking the Voots for the time being. Unfortunately, this put her into oncoming traffic with a dozen hostile Spittle Runners, all of which tried to ram into her and get their claws into play. Gaz managed to dodge through the flurry, even sideswiping one into another, but it was only a matter of time at this rate.

There was suddenly a pleasant ding from the console. "The missile launcher is repaired!" Kloof said happily.

"Is all the soda loaded?" Gaz asked.

"Last can!" Dib yelled, pushing it into the machine.

"Alright, Gaz! Fire when ready, but be warned it's only an escape cloud!"

"_Right,_" Gaz growled as she pressed down on the missile trigger, targeting every ship she could find. Instantly soda cans were fired in all directions from the ship's missile pods; after a few seconds, the cans could no longer take the sudden lack of air pressure, and exploded, sending thin waves of foaming soda in all directions. The soda distorted light passing through them, quickly making the Squidge invisible, and it tended to coat any ships that passed through it, getting sticky in all the absolutely worst places.

"Alright, Gaz, there's the ONLY hole in the soda cloud!" Kloof pointed almost straight up. "Hurry through it!"

"You can do it, Gaz!" Dib added.

"Shut up, Dib. I don't need your _stupid_ encouragement." With practiced ease, Gaz flew the gunship through just before the soda foamed up and closed the hole.

"All the small ships are still focusing on the cloud!" Kloof cried. "We're in the clear!"

"What's with the Massive?" Dib asked. "It's just… sitting there."

"NOT the time to look a gift horse in the mouth, Dib," Kloof argued as a few stray lasers began to pass around them again. The Armada had caught on. "Is the hyperdrive working, Gaz?"

"Yeah. Activating it."

---

Meanwhile, aboard the Massive, Purple had worked himself into a froth at the Armada's inability to stop Kloof's ship. Literally, in fact – he was currently busy having his face de-frothed by a service drone. Red, as usual, had managed to keep only a little more presence of mind. "Where are our lasers? The Massive has HUGE lasers, I'm sure of it!" He turned to the techs on the bridge. "If you're worried about friendly fire, you can stop! We'll get new ships, new pilots, but I want that aberration _gone!_"

"It's not friendly fire issues, sir!" a red-eyed tech reported. "All of our major weapons systems are unresponsive! We're running a diagnostic to find the _problem!_"

"Results are in!" a green-eyed tech added. "We can't connect to the weapons due to… _ripped wiring!_"

---

The hatch opened, and Dib stumbled out onto his roof. He never thought his town's polluted air would smell so good. Smiling, he got up on his hands and knees, but Gaz used him as a doormat, stomping him back down before he could rise fully. "I need to thank you guys," Kloof said. "The mission failed, yes, but I never would have made it out of there without both of you."

"I was _promised_ payment," Gaz said with a frown, stepping backwards off Dib.

"And so it is _delivered_." Kloof tossed her a black handheld device. She snatched it out of the air and looked it over. "It's Vortian tech from back before they were blindsided by the Irken WAR machine. Totally modular. It'll work with _any game_ here on Earth."

"Gamethrall?" Gaz asked, reading the cover. She pulled out a Gameslave disc and held it above the too-small slot on the alien machine, trying to decide how to cram it in. Without warning, the Gamethrall's slot widened and extended slightly into the air like a pair of plastic lips. It grabbed the disc from Gaz's hand with a disturbing slurping sound and pulled it inwards, closing a slot now perfectly shaped for Gameslave discs. "Cool." Then the game system booted up with a faint chime, and Pig Cannon XI instantly started up. The sound and resolution were flawless, and the brightness automatically corrected itself to best suit the game and the ambient light. "Very cool." Without so much as a goodbye, Gaz turned away, her nose in the new game system, and made for the stairwell.

"HEY!" Dib cried, looking over the railing of his house. "My ship! It's gone!"

"Tak took it back, so I blew it up," Gaz said with a shrug, opening the door to the stairs. "SUCKS to be you." Then she was gone.

"I'm sorry, Dib. I knew she was planning to get her ship back, but I didn't know she'd immediately grab it after we left." Kloof shook his head. "Look, you got me the SIR. I'll get you a new, fresh-out-of-the-box Spittle Runner, with no personality plugged in at all!"

Dib turned, and his eyes lit up with the kind of mania that came naturally to experienced paranormal investigators. "Really?!"

"It's the least I can do… Well, not the _least…_ I'm trying to say that I OWE you." Kloof looked around, rubbing the back of his neck (which made a thoroughly unpleasant metal-on-metal scraping sound). "I don't doubt that you can… at least keep Zim in CHECK. He's only the _tip_ of the Irken spaceberg, you know. But if things get especially nasty around here, and especially if Tak returns…" Kloof threw Dib a silver disc. "…you can call me. Just… don't make a _habit _out of it, alright? If you can stop Zim, there might be a future in the _Resisty_ for you."

"Really?" Dib asked. Flying around space, with a bunch of friendly aliens, blasting an evil empire… man, that'd be the life…

"Uh-huh. Anyway, gotta go. My cover is blown, so that means more… _open_ operations against the Empire. My face will probably be burned with HATE into the brains of every Irken, everywhere… but I'm trying to save them." Kloof turned, striding back into his ship and restarting the engines. "What do _they_ know, anyway?!" Then the door shut and he was gone.

"Doesn't anybody say good-bye anymore?" Dib asked rhetorically.

"GOOD-BYE, DIB-STINK!" Covered in burns and bruises, sans-disuise, Zim was right behind where the Gunship had been.

"Ahhh!" Dib fell on his butt, waiting for the end… but nothing happened.

"…is what I _would _say if I had any working weapons left on me…" Zim finished lamely. "Anyway, I just came to tell you that I GOT BACK TO EARTH A WHOLE FIVE MINUTES BEFORE YOU!"

"…so?" Dib asked.

"I could've taken over the Earth by now!" Zim claimed triumphantly.

"In five minutes?"

"YES!"

"Then why didn't you?"

"Well… I was too busy running to your _stupid_ stink-house to wait for you, so I could tell you I COULD!"

"Okay." Dib decided the logic was getting him nowhere. "Where'd you get the burns?"

"I flew right through a lava asteroid to get here first!"

"The lava was squishy and pink! SMELLED LIKE ROSES!" Gir screamed, his metal body rattling… like a rattle.

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? It did not!" Zim turned to Gir and began arguing with him… well, Zim was arguing, and Gir was contributing a string of non sequiters.

Dib listened to a few minutes of it before interrupting. "Well, that's fascinating (I didn't even know there _were_ lava asteroids), but I'm tired. I'm going to bed. G'night."

"Goodbye!" Gir yelled, flailing his arm in what might generously be called a wave.

"No, Gir, it's _goodnight,_" Zim corrected.

"But you an' big head boy were talkin' bout' goodbye…" Gir mumbled, confused.

Zim sighed. He had a lot to think about – how could that scum _traitor_ humiliate him like that? It didn't fit… he was ZIM! He was perfection! Why did Tak keep insisting he was so horrible for the Empire? And why did he keep needing help to best Tak and Kloof, if he was so perfect? It made his head hurt – and he'd sustained a lot of blows to the skull today. More head pain was the last thing he needed. He needed to relax, repair his Spider-legs and Minimoose, maybe abduct and torture a few hobos. "Come on, Gir, let's go home."

"G'night," Gir responded cheerfully as he followed Zim.

**End of Story**

**Yeah, thanks to everybody for coming along for the ride! Special thanks to Yellowfur for writing the original and beta-ing this version, and to ngrey651 and SusieSaysNo for providing the vast majority of the reviews! Also, special thanks to Jhonen for ... ahh, forget it, you know already.**

**I have two more in this series (Shadowboxing and Dommination Industries), and I plan to make three more somewhere along the line. Be warned that Shadowboxing was the first fic I wrote solo, so it's a sharp drop in quality from this. Not in spelling and grammar - I was always pretty good with that - but don't look too closely at the character's motivations at any given moment, I was still learning as a writer at the time. I'm afraid I have no plans to rewrite Shadowboxing, so if you want to continue you'll have to make do.  
**


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